Sunday, January 04, 2015

Ainsley : 5 Months

Baby Girl,
How are you FIVE months already? I can't believe you are almost halfway to your first birthday!

13 pounds 12 ounces 
24 inches long
25th percentile - you are still my tiny ballerina!
Size 2 diapers
3 months sleepers, 3-6 month clothes, and I have to roll the pant legs up for all of your pants!  

This month Ainsley :

Wore your first pair of shoes :) We wore your white shiny mary-janes to church. You only tried to pull them off once!

You got your first ear infection :( We had to give you amoxicillin twice a day for 10 days and you HATED it. You've basically had a cold for 6 weeks so the doctor prescribed hydroxyzine along with infant tylenol too. It was a pretty miserable time for all of us. You hate getting oral medications!

You had your first Christmas! Mommy and Daddy didn't get you much. Between everyone in the family getting you presents, we just got you some small toys. We got you Sofie the Giraffe, a ball, some bath toys,and a cat that makes "crinkle" sounds and has lots of stuff attached to it (Lamaze brand).

Attended your first Christmas Eve service at church. You did fairly well considering it was an hour long. I only had to take you out of the service once and that was just to make your bottle. You were quite mesmerized by mommy and daddy's lit candles at the end. Thankfully you weren't trying to grab the candle!

You played Baby Jesus in the church Christmas play. You loved being on stage and watching the other children sing. 

Visited Santa! You just sat there. Too bad because mommy loves screaming santa pictures. Maybe next year ;)

Went to your cousin Easton's baby dedication. Yours will be next month sweet girl! 

Loves :
To drool and blow "raspberries"... You drool so much that we basically have to keep a bib on you all the time 

To watch Roxie - she's your first best friend 

Playing in your pink exersaucer that grandma and pop gave you for Christmas. 

To pull up to a standing position with the help of mommy's hands. You will roll all around but don't really like it that much for some reason. You would rather stand up instead. 

Watching football with daddy
Making silly faces all the time

To have your cheeks kissed. It makes you smile. 

For us to tickle you and laugh! You don't laugh very often but when you do, it's hilarious!

You are still such a happy baby in the mornings. Daddy normally has morning duty and he will feed, change your diaper and change your outfit. You love to smile and "talk" to him in the mornings. 

Pictures : 

Wearing shoes for the first time!

Watching football at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Making rice crispy treats with mommy on Christmas Eve. 
At your check up appt for your shots and to recheck your ears. 

I told you "let's take a selfie for grandma and pop!"... You made this face instead :) silly girl!

First Christmas Eve service at church
Playing with your toys at grandma and pop's house for Christmas!

We love you so much baby girl and are soo happy that God placed you in our lives. You make our family complete!

Friday, October 11, 2013

Five on Friday

I've thought about joining up with this series for awhile so I can kinda keep readers more in the loop. Lately I haven't been a very good blogger :( Life is busy these days!

1. I have friends!

This may come as a shocker (or not) but I actually have friends here in Danville! Technically I have just as many, if not more, friends than John! Which is just unheard of! He is normally the "chatty cathy" and I'm the one who likes to stay to themselves. More or less, leave me alone. I like my alone time, thank you very much :) In Wilson, I just mainly had the girls from work and that was about it. I didn't have anyone to vent or laugh about things. Which sucked. Here I've got an overabundance of friends it seems like. John has his running group people that we can hang out with, and I've got my bible study girls that we can hang out with. Also all the people from church we can hang out with or go to lunch with. But I still like my time at home with just the two of us and miss roxie. 
That's my favorite group to hang out with :) 
Roxie takes up most of the couch as usual when we are all together :) sweet girl! 

2. Half Marathon
John ran the Danville Half Marathon! He did it in about 2 hours. 
My handsome guy :) stinky sweaty guy but still handsome!

I think he was disappointed he didn't make it under 2 hours but it was literally 90 degrees outside. My really good friend Michelle came with us and we rocked her business tshirts. The River District Festival was going on during the marathon so we did a little promoting :) She just moved her chiropractic and nutrition business to Chatham (like 10 minutes away from Danville) so we wanted to get the word out that she is here :) 
These are the shirts she made (in her living room!).

3. No more dishes!

I bought a dishwasher! No more dishpan hands! Yes it is a countertop version. No it doesn't hold a ton. But yes it is perfect for a small family! It fits all my dishes at night after I cook. 

I am still learning the best way to load it. I need to maximize the space :) it just hooks up to the sink faucet. Almost like screwing a top onto a drink. It takes like 5 seconds to twist onto the faucet and twist off. So glad I bought it! 

4.  I finally finished our bedroom wall! Absolutely love it! 
Originally the photos were going to be black and white but I actually like them in color in person so they are going to stick around for awhile. I still need to get pretty bedding and pillows but I love it so far :) I found some awesome sheer curtain panels at marshalls too. Wish I had a better pic of them but trust me they are pretty up close!

5. Job

Y'all just please pray for my job. Please. I won't go into a lot of detail but I thought it was getting better, and then today I basically got chewed out for literally an hour about how I suck at my job. I do the best I can every day and apparently it's not good enough. It's becoming very stressful to the point that my heart palpitations have come back. I went to my primary care dr today because I just didn't know what to do. Last year when I was having them, it turned into panic attacks and I don't want that to happen again. But my dr was not much help at all and basically told me to calm down and to talk to people about it. Which sucks. I'm not going to a therapist. Therapy just doesn't work for me. Couples therapy works very well but (singular) therapy does not work well at all for me. Maybe I'll do some yoga or something. I don't know. But my job is the root of my stress and I just don't know what to do about it. But that's God's job to handle it for me and I just need to give it all over to him and he will help me. Still please pray for me though.

That's all I have for today! Thank goodness the weekend is here :) 

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Lets go Orioles!

We made the (long) trek to Baltimore a few weekends ago. It was so much fun! I wished we would have stayed the weekend in Baltimore but it was a trip with his family so we stayed in Richmond instead. (Our first anniversary, we went to Baltimore and it was a blast! We got a hotel on the inner harbor and ate lots of good seafood :) yum! We also went to the aquarium which is the best one we have been to in my opinion! )

On Friday night, we drove to Richmond to meet his family. We stayed at uncle joes house and did a little hat shopping from joes personal collection hahaha
We are looking good huh?
Early Saturday morning we got up and made the drive to Baltimore. I absolutely love Baltimore. The inner harbor is so beautiful and Camden Yards is just as pretty. 
This is the entrance to Camden Yards at Oriole Park. 
Cute alert! All the trash cans have helmets on them! The Ravens stadium also has their helmets on them too! John wanted to steal one but sadly they didn't  fit in my purse :(

This is Cal Ripken's statue in the ballpark. Well, one of the many statues. This particular one is of his jersey number. 
(I can't remember who this player is... someone important I'm sure!) I admit it, I'm not a baseball scholar. I just watch because a lot of the players are hot :)
Me and my sweetie :)

John and his dad

One bad, no terrible, thing was that I lost my iPhone, debit card and ID in the bathroom but some sweet heart of a teenager turned it in for me.... So I celebrated with ice cream in a baseball cup (sorry no pic but its a super cute bowl!)

And now for some beautiful stadium pictures... I absolutely love the orioles stadium. 

It's just something about the brick warehouse in the background and how pretty the grass is and how clean the stadium is makes me love it so much. 
All in all we had a great trip! 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013



September will make 3 years since we have "officially" tried to have kids I've not posted much (if anything) about our "journey" with infertility. This post has been in posting limbo for a few months now as I have reworded, deleted, and rewrote everything over and over again. Why am I posting this? Simply for the fact that I have read countless blogs about infertility and it has helped me. Maybe this will someday help someone else. Maybe not. At least I'll get all my thoughts out. So I'm sorry if it's kinda jumbled. 

I'll start the post off with a slight freak-out I had at the doctors office

I told a nurse at a doctors office last week "I can't have kids". I can't believe I just came outright and said that. It was my first visit to a primary care dr here in Danville. The nurse was going over basic medical history and when I told her I had a laparoscopy in February 2012, she asked the reason. Simple question, simple answer. The correct answer was "diagnostic/exploratory". Or "to see if I can have kids". 

NOT "I can't have kids". 

That's a major difference (to infertiles everywhere at least). I said that out loud to a complete stranger. And I just kinda stopped after that and was speechless. Almost like my brain (and my heart) couldn't comprehend that I just said that.

Why did I say that? Why couldn't I have just said something simple like pelvic pain or crazy periods or to check if my fallopian tubes were clear?

I didn't even say that to the 2 reproductive endocrinologist that I've seen. Just told them "I'm having trouble getting pregnant".     Pause     I can hear the wheels turning in your brain. Either you're saying that I don't know that for a fact, OR I'll get pregnant someday. You're right. I don't know if I will ever get pregnant. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. It's all in God's hands because I'm done worrying about it. Yes, I would absolutely love having kids. There's still not a holiday that goes by that I think "oh this would be so sweet to announce I'm pregnant". But it never happens that way. Anyways, lets stop with the sob story. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat  :)

I truly have one of the sweetest husbands around. No, we do not talk about infertility stuff a lot. Nor do I want him to go to all the doctors appointments with me. I'm not that kind of girl. When I had my diag lap done, he begged to come to a consult with the doctor (who I worked for). I flat out refused. He finally broke me down and I agreed to let him sit in the room with me for 5 minutes with the doctor to ask any questions he had. That was only because the doctor and my nurse (who i work with) said I needed to let him come talk. I grilled him before hand on what constituted a "stupid" question and I pre-screened all the questions before they were asked. Hahaha, yes I'm that kind of girl :) He did not accompany me to the reproductive endocrinologists offices either. In fact, he didn't even know I scheduled them until the morning of the appointments. When we first started talking about having kids, I was the one who put it off. We were still living in an apartment, had barely been married a year and I was unsure if I was going to go back to school or not (and we all know what a nightmare that turned out to be). Another year goes by and the topic comes up again. This time we had bought a house, and I was seriously considering nursing school. I wanted to put it off just a little bit longer. John made the simple remark "I don't want to turn out like ____ & _____ who kept putting kids off and never ended up having them." Folks, that little comment has stuck with me over the years. My husband is so good with kids. Little kids just flock to him. Even if they don't know him, they will just crawl up in his lap and get comfortable. My point being, I know that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings by that comment. But it does hurt my feelings. I almost wonder if I hadn't been so insistent on waiting for kids, we would already have a couple by now. Shoulda, coulda, woulda... You can't waste your life wishing things were different. 

So instead, I prayed... and prayed...and prayed. For the past 3 years we have been trying, I have prayed specifically for that. First, it was to get pregnant. Dear Lord, please make me pregnant. Then it was to actually have a baby (through other means, adoption, foster care, etc). Then, my thoughts and prayers started to chang. Now pray that if my wish is not God's plan, then please make us (particularly John) ok with not having kids. I just don't want him to regret anything in life. The Lord knows my thoughts and wants and if he chooses to bless us with a baby then I will happily accept his blessing!

On a side note, praying to God isn't like praying to santa claus. I'm not a biblical scholar. These are just random thoughts. I think as a younger child (and younger adult) I prayed to God like I would have been talking to Santa. "Dear Lord, please give me a puppy. Please give me a bike. Please give me good grades." Now it's more like "Dear Lord, if its your will, please help me in my job... marriage... finances... please guide me in these things" Not gimme gimme gimme... I want want want.  

They say that if you wait long enough, God has an answer to everything. I do believe that. My heart has changed. If we don't have kids, then I'm ok with that. I'm happy with our little family now. And, hey! I can sleep late all the time then :) But I just want John to be ok with not having kids. Because I can see it in his eyes that he wants them so bad. Anytime he sees a little baby he always says in a baby voice "hey baby". It's so sweet. God did  answer my prayers and John randomly said out of the blue "If we never have kids and it's just me, you and Roxie, I'm ok with that". By the way, he finally realizes how much I want a baby and prays every night for me to get pregnant. That folks is one of the best things for spouse to say to the other. That he prays for me. I figured John prayed for me but I didn't know it for a fact. Now I do and it makes me so happy to hear that :)

So, in closing, thank you Lord, for answering my small prayer. And if it does turn out that we don't have kids, we are good with that. If we do have kids, then I will be ecstatic. Either way, we are happy however our life turns out. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Chicken mac & cheese

Let me introduce one of our favorite recipes : chicken mac & cheese... 
(Sorry for the unprofessional pic... y'all get the iphone treatment!!)

If you like chicken, if you like mac and cheese, then this is the recipe for you! 

It is one of the simplest recipes you can make! I would say start to finish it takes less than 30 minutes to make. 

No it's not the most nutritious, no it's not the most healthy. But yes it's delicious, yes it's filling and yes it's quick to make. 

So these are the ingredients : 
 Kraft homestyle mac & cheese
Tyson grilled and ready chicken strips (or whatever you have on hand). These are the quickest things you can buy!
You cook the tenders. Cook the macaroni. Mix the sauce on the back of the pack. Sprinkle the crumbs in the Kraft bag over it. Put together in a dish. Stick in the oven for about 10 minutes. Then let it sit out and let the ingredients "mingle" for about 5 minutes. This is crucial! The cheese will soak into the chicken more and coat the macaroni better. Then scoop out and enjoy!  

We have also added salsa and scooped it with tortilla chips if we want it spicy!

So good and even better as leftovers! That's coming from a girl who hates leftovers!

Yummy goodness!!!!!

Sunday, August 11, 2013


It's no secret that we have been trying to find a church here in Danville. One that was local and close to us. That was my biggest peeve about our old church was that we were not close to it in location. The moral of this story is yes we did find a church. But it took a lot of compromise and some realization on my part.

This post from Kelly's Korner really smacked me in the face.

 I decided I wanted to find the "perfect" church for us. Which is good in reality but bad once you realize that churches are made up of people and we (and churches) are not perfect. So I swallowed my idea of a "perfect" church and decided to go by how nice the people were. The church that John loved is where we decided to continue going. After a lot of prayer,  I told him I would be happy to go to the church and have not looked back since saying that. We attended a married couples night out that following Friday night and met even more people. It was a blast also. The pastor and his wife know us by name and have invited us to lunch multiple times. We've also met new people every single Sunday. They haven't sent around the sign up for small groups yet but we should be signing up soon.

Anyways, that's our little church update. I know some people have been wondering.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Happy birthday to me :)

My 29th birthday was on August 3rd.... My first annual 29th birthday because I do not wish to turn 30 hahaha!

We drove back to Rocky Mount for the day. Actually just for a few hours because I didn't want to get up early on my birthday :) My cousin Chris and his wife Jeonghee were visiting from South Korea so they came to my party too! It was very low key but exactly what I wanted : to be with my family. Ginger cooked an enormous amount of spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, brownie trifle and my funfetti cupcakes.

Which reminds me about what one of my favorite things about Ginger is. She and the boys never did have a lot of money when it was just them. And heck, she didn't marry into a rich family! Haha, me and dad are not rich whatsoever. But she always makes the holidays special and creates traditions. Like in August, it's my birthday. So she asks me every year what kind of birthday cake would I want? I always say fun-fetti. So does Michael. His birthday is about 2 weeks after mine so August is always the month of fun-fetti cake! She makes it herself, ices it herself and you can tell all the love that she bakes it with. I know that sounds stupid and sappy but she puts her heart into everything she does. That's one of the special things about Ginger. It doesn't matter how many birthday presents i get or where the cake came from. I just know that she loves me enough to care about what kind of cake I want and make it for me herself for my birthday. One of the multitudes of reason why I love her!

Here are a few pictures!
It started off with a birthday present through the mail from my auntie michelle! It was even more fun getting it through the mail because I wasn't expecting it whatsoever! It was a new iPhone cover! I was so excited because I got my cover for my old iPhone at hallmark and they always have the cutest ones! Obviously I haven't gotten a chance to get another one since getting a new phone. I liked the cover I bought originally with the iPhone 5 but it was 2 separate pieces so it always got crap inside it :( my new one is all one piece and its so much prettier!
Ignore the bedroom and my nails. I've been painting it this week so they are in terrible shape! 

My birthday cup courtesy of my step brothers :) 
Another tradition is the birthday plate. She always makes everything special. 
Here is my fun-fetti cupcake! 
Here is the big family picture we took!

That's all I have for tonight! Night night!